Be your best, happy friend. That may sound a bit funny to you, but it holds some great advice. We all know that deep, quiet satisfaction is the very stuff we are made of.
Peaceful happiness is available to us at all times. There is never a moment that it is not available. Everything you need is in the quiet of you.
One of the tools for locating the happiness within is to listen to the sound of each breath, become aware of your heartbeat. What a loyal friend is your heart! Consider your age. How many years has your heart been beating? It is estimated that over an average of a 66-year-lifespan the heart beats 2.5 billion times.
The heart beats and your lungs exchange carbon dioxide for oxygen to nourish your blood supply whether or not you think about it. These systems are available to you free-of-charge throughout your lifetime. So is peace, joy and happiness. Happiness is always available to you, free-of-charge. There is no external thing, like a new house, a new job, new clothes, a new friend or loved-one, that can bring you happiness because you already own an unlimited supply of happiness. It is the fabric of who you are. You are the energy of happiness!
You can restrict your flow of happiness with negative thoughts just like you can cover your airways to prevent oxygen to enter your body. If you cannot experience happiness simple remove the clamps of negative thinking. Pay attention to each breath and realize there is more to you than you ever imagined. Take a moment to still all thoughts and reach inward to your best friend, you.
Let go of the negative concerns, strategies, pseudo-defences that restrict your happiness. Let go, become aware of your breathing until you can sense the happy energy that wishes to bubble up into your day’s reality. Ask yourself often today, “How do you feel?” . As you practice each day, you will become aware of the negative impediments you have placed on your well-being. Little by little, remove these restrictions and get to “Happy” in “Real Time.”
Take a look at my new website. The theme this month is “Getting To Happy!”
Number one: Plan your day as if it has already taken place.
This exercise might seem a bit strange at first, but it packs a powerful punch. Instead of getting up in the morning and hoping things will turn out, imagine the actions of the day as already having taken place, as if you are watching a movie. Imagine you are finished with the day. Imagine how you feel because of the day’s events.
You can rise in the morning with enthusiasm, or you may dread the day. The first thing you can do is be thankful for your bed, for the body you are in, for your surroundings and for the people in your life. The best days start with appreciation for what you have. The second thing you can do is to plan for your day. See yourself talking to your co-workers in a happy environment of sharing. See yourself completing your tasks at work with ease and enjoyment. Imagine all sorts of good surprises for yourself. And, top it off with the thought, that all of your dreams have already come true! Imagine you are getting ready for bed tonight and enjoying the memories of the actualization of your dreams.
As I said, this may seem a bit strange at first. But don’t give up! It will bring about happier situations throughout your day as you perfect your skills. You are beginning to achieve the skill of objectivity. You are beginning to see yourself and your situations in a new light and gain power over your daily life and situations. You are in touch with your core of happiness.
Number two: Be your greatest fan
Have you ever heard yourself singing or read something you wrote long ago and been surprised that it was you singing or writing? Have you ever come across a project from work that gave you an amazing feeling that it was you who accomplished that project? If so, you have a rare opportunity to be your greatest fan.
Self-love is the beginning task for all of us. To the extent you love and admire your true self you will be able to love others … and not a speck more. Take time today to find out more about yourself and see if you can be proud to know yourself the same way you would be proud to say you know a rockstar or politician or actress or boss or anyone you admire in your life. Are you proud to know you? Are you proud to beyou? That is powerful stuff.
Many people are taught to love their neighbor as themselves. They may work hard on charity events only to find themselves unhappy and in conflict with those they work with. They wonder how it is that they can be so charitable and so irritated at the same time. Of course, you know the answer. You cannot give what you do not have. Love yourself and loving others becomes a natural response.
Perhaps today you will take time to express yourself in art, writing, singing, playing an instrument or creating an audio book. Tomorrow, enjoy what you have created. Don’t worry if you have not received any feedback from anyone regarding how great you are. Take time to enjoy and admire who the person is behind the creation …. you! Allow yourself to admire yourself and you will experience happiness and peace because you will be coming in contact with all that we consider important.
Im’ soon to take a trip to Berkeley, California. I’m staying at the Claremont Hotel, where I grew up just a few blocks away! Sounds like a great, fun time. Now I thought I’d try to think of as many places that were around when I was growing up. Maybe you’ll remember a few of them.
- The Smoke House on Woolsey, I think. It was a little, and I mean little hut with a big grill that continually cooked hamburgers. You could smell the hamburgers from blocks away and most of us found our way to this afternoon delight.
- Botts ice-cream on College Avenue near Ashby. The ice-cream was never disappointing and it took at least 15 minutes to choose the special flavor.
- the Donut Shop on Ashby, just a couple of shops from College. A walk to that store was a way to start any Saturday morning. We’d bring them home and put them a big beautiful platter. And that was caused everyone to wake up fast!
- There were two drug stores with a soda fountain – and a soda jerk. Might sound like a funny name to call someone who was putting together a chocolate soda or banana split. Drug stores had a way to cure people’s ills by letting them sit on a spinning stool next to other neighbors and share a story or two. Everyone always felt better after the visit. In my day, there was Roger. We all had a crush on Roger who would put extra cherries in the cherry coke. We also enjoyed watching him drive off in his hot rod. He was the coolest! By the way, a cherry coke had coke syrup, cherry syrup and soda that spurted out from a metal fountain. Half the fun of drinking the coke was watching it get made and talking (flirting) with Roger.
- Hink’s Department Store. A two story department store on Shattuck Avenue. It also had a little eating area upstairs, where you could buy a piece of pie or have some ice tea or even a sandwich. I think it was there to let you think about that outfit that you put back. Hink’s had a feeling of fine clothes and you always were glad to bring home a special something. They also let you charge on your mother’s Hink’s credit card. Can you imagine that?!
- Berkeley High tennis courts. There were “pro’s” who could and would teach you during the summer as part of a city program. It was free. All you had to do is walk down to the courts and play. It was hot and fun and memorable.
- John Muir Elementary at the corner of Ashby and Claremont Avenue; There was a brick wall that was the back of an auto shop. We used to use it to play tennis by hitting the balls against the wall. I also went to school there in fourth grade. Fun school. Fun playground.
Wait, there’s one more: the Dry Cleaners on Ashby across from the Donut Shop. They once sponsored Mr. America to stand outside their door. I went down to meet him (I was in the fifth grade). I was VERY disappointed to see that he was the same height as me! But again, I was sort of empowered that I could look him right in the eye as I shook a man I had seen on TV.
Long, long ago in another era, there lived a little girl who believed she had come to this world to sing and play with the wind.
The time has passed so quickly and yet, there have been countless songs. Even though the reflection is quite different these days, I can still recognize the sparkle’s source emitting from this little girl. I am still me!
And, in the spirit of this little girl, a free eBook copy of Aunt Barbara’s Powerful Little Book of Comfort is yours to give as a gift or to keep for yourself. Enter this code NV37M, prior to completing your order. This is my way of reminding you to always choose the happy song!
It has become quite a popular statement to say that you have been out of work for over a — (and then you state the time). The statement does nothing to get you back to work. It is a complaint statement and it keeps you right where you are — unemployed.
Unemployment! Is It Possible to Get a Job These Days? Sure it is! While times are reported on the news to be hard, think about what’s going on in all thriving companies. There is always constant turnover within any company. Women and men make decisions to leave and become the center stronghold of their family life. Others decide to work closer to home and family and relocate. Yes, family is becoming a central decision-maker for most households and this may be a new result of the recession. In other words, dreams of a bigger car, a bigger house, etc., is being replaced with dreams of a happy and healthy family. Jobs are available. Employees are people. They get sick, have accidents, go on extended vacations, leave for greener pastures. Every company has a human resource department for hiring new employees to replace the old. They may try to get along with fewer employees but in the end they are required to employ replacements if they wish their business to grow.
Traditional ways to advertise their open position has changed dramatically. Newspaper classified ads were replaced with internet classifieds. Yet of late, employers are wary of placing an ad to see so many unprepared jobseekers. The evolution of hiring may now focus more on promoting from within the company and then hiring new, entry-level employees. These candidates need to prove they are assets not only to the task at hand, but to the harmony among the employees already present. It is not uncommon for employees to recommend new candidates. Employees know best the culture of the company and who will “fit in”.
- When you get the interview make the most of it! You get one chance to be yourself, your true self; you know, the one who is well-groomed, professional, warm, happy, attentive to the moment and centered.
Here’s some thoughts to get the job you want when an interview is offered to you!
I’ve worked in management one way or another most of my life. The words of advice I am about to share with you is already known by you. But something happens when you are the one without the job, asking to get inside. You seem to leave all the common sense you possess at the door; all the successful experiences you have stacked up from raising children, keeping a roof over your family’s head, cooking the most magnificent meals, making the beds, paying the bills, teaching your children to drive, helping them toward college, not to mention your previous career experience. I humbly but firmly offer these words:
Put all fears in their place!
- Listen to your thoughts as you begin to respond to an ad. “I can do that!”, “Who am I kidding, I can’t do that.”, “They won’t want me, but I’ll try. I’ll give it my best.” So how are you going to put the fears aside? You are going to take a piece of paper and you are going to write down your immediate answers to this question: How do you feel about this job?
- You will probably begin by writing something like, “I’m excited!”, “This looks too good to be true”, but if you continue to persist, asking yourself over and over, How do you feel about this job, you will uncover your fears. Believe me, if you keep writing a page or two, you will uncover your fears. And, don’t you think it is better to locate your fears prior to your interview? Yes. That would be a grand idea!Fears do not come from the core of your being. Fears live in a dark, “just beyond reality”, place and always disappears with light or what I would call awareness. Once you put your fears on paper, you can see whether or not your fears are justified.For instance, if you are on craigslist.com and see a job for an IT person, but you don’t know how to send an email, then your fears may be justified. If you think this sort of job is interesting, you may wish to research schools where you could learn about computers. With another ad, you may see a job that announces a training program within a work environment. You know you could meet the requirements. Now you begin to write down how you feel about applying for this position. You cannot merely wish that someone in human resources will discover you and your potentially wonderful talents. Listen to your fears and sort out the ones that bring great emotion with them from the ones that are merely making statements. For instance, “I can never do well in interviews!” is a fear that will help you fail every time even when it is a job that you could excel in. “I’ve never used a computer in my life. Why am I considering applying for an IT position”, is a sensible fear and because it does not bring about much emotion is somehow often overlooked.When you have totally exhausted your list of fears, (ask yourself the question at least ten times), you will begin to see how you really feel about this job. If you have any defeating thoughts written, you need to address them before you even begin to prepare to go on an interview.
- You don’t feel pretty/handsome enough to get this job. Get a haircut. Ask a friend to share some new looks with you. And of course, everyone knows that when you are shining from within, you are always professionally beautiful. Clothes matter. If you are applying for a professional job, look the part. It is not acceptable to wear old, shabby-looking clothes to an interview. You need to look yourself in the mirror and be honest. Are you projecting a professional man or woman? Would you hire the person in the mirror? Are you wearing clothes that suggest you are capable? What is the costume you will wear that will tell your future employee that it is okay to hire you?
- I’ve never had this position before. What skills can you apply to this position? Can you cite past experiences in your personal or career history that would make it possible for you to serve in this position? The question is, are you confident that you can successfully function in this position? It is not good enough to answer, “… because I want the job,” or “… because I’ll do my best.” Really. What does that mean to the person who is going to hire you?
Phrases that employers hear all the time and do not impress:
- “I learn fast.” Fast for you may not be fast for me. Tell how you have reached your supervisor’s expectation, in fact surpassed their expectations in a consistent manner. Offer to have them contact your supervisor to find out just how quickly tasks can be done and with what accuracy! Smile. Laugh. Be confident!
- “I will do my best.” “Best” is a relative term. Your best may not be as good as my best. Too general. Tell how you are known for doing your best. Give examples. Let the interviewer know you understand how important it is to give a consistently good performance at work.
- “I am a big ‘people’ person.” Your idea of service and my idea of service may not be the same. So, give three examples of how you successfully have interacted with people. Give one example with a co-worker, one example with your supervisor, and one with a customer, client or patient.
- Never, never, never talk about your last employment in negative terms. You may not have thought about it. While you are talking about that last boss who didn’t know what he was doing half the time, your interviewer is thinking “next”. You have just told the interviewer that you are a complainer, a trouble maker, a person who won’t really work out until the attitude changes.
Once you’ve put your fears in their place, you will remove the artificial facade.
Remember, the person you are selling is yourself. It is the same person who will be coming to work every day after you are hired. Try to let your unique light out, your personality. Your confidence comes from your heart, not from your brain. So if you find yourself sweating, you are coming from your brain, not your heart! Deal with your fears before your interview and you will succeed. Good luck!